February: Is it REALLY a month?
With apologies to all persons born in February who may have an attachment to the idea of February actually being considered a month . . . .I personally feel that February is a mistake, an ancient joke that was never intended to be taken seriously! Look at the evidence!
1. The spelling of February is the first suspicious indication that something is not to be taken seriously about this ‘month’! What the heck is that first ‘r’ . . . . . . a joke?! Obviously!
2. Then there’s the fact of the changing number of days every four years! What kind of a month whimsically changes the number of days within itself?! That has always seemed extremely disorderly to me and what about the folks born on Feb. 29? You don’t hear much complaining about it, but I would be very put out if my actual birthday came only every four years! They apparently celebrate their birthdays, (the Feb. 29 people), on the 28th or March first, but that has always seemed very unsatisfactory to me. A birthday is a solemn, sacred business with a definite date, time and place in the universe. How terribly arbitrary and sloppy to wipe it out for four years at a time and to celebrate it on a day upon which it does not exist!
3. You’d be hard put to find anything positive that’s been said about February, which doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be a month, but is a clear indication of it’s questionable character
“Without Valentine's Day, February would be... well, January.”
That you have such a February face,
So full of frost, of storm and cloudiness?” (William Shakespeare, Much ado About Nothing)
“The most serious charge that can be brought against New England is not Puritanism, but February.” (Joseph Wood Krutch)
“February is merely as long as is needed to pass the time until March.” (Dr J R Stockton)
Which brings me to my theory about why February exists.
I think that possibly, a long time ago, the folks born in the latter half of January grew impatient waiting for their birthdays to come in a month that was overly long and overly unpleasant, so they just got together and seceded from January, creating their own month which, for some unknown reason they insisted upon calling ‘February’ . . . .with that extra ‘r’! And to make it seem like a nice, official, new month, they gave it its own holiday, Valentine’s Day, placing it right in the middle so we’d be sure to notice it. Then, to give it some dignity, they gave it ‘President’s Day.’ But really . . .who are they fooling?! In spite of the hopes and promises of Valentine’s Day, have you ever heard of anyone who actually enjoyed the holiday?! The most famous thing that has happened on that day is now referred to as a “Massacre!” And President’s Day?! The only fun thing about this one is for government workers and school children to have the day off. The rest of us are just stuck with no mail, no banks open, and no libraries to go to.
Looking at last year’s post about February, I notice that it is inordinately short compared to the other posts.
I rest my case!
We are now in March, which I believe is unquestionably a proper, (actual), month, and will air my thoughts about that in my next post.
In the meantime, I think I will get up a petition to have ‘February’ renamed, JanuaryExtended. I feel certain that so much that is amiss in the world will then, naturally fall into place!
Thank you for reading my whiny blog and I truly hope you had a bearable JanuaryExtended!
